I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
