I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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