So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
