it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
