forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
