k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
