just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
