You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
vagina is talking i cant
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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