i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
