I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
