First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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