What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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