is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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