I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
