does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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