If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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