someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
