she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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