I got her a Nickelback box set.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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