Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
