i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
