i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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