never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
