If i come over, it means nothing
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
