wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
