I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
