she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
