He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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