Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We just shotgunned beers for America
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
