Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
