My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
