Just fell off a train. Bad.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
