he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
