Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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