is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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