do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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