i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
