girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
