arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
