There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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