Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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