Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
