her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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