that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Oh god it's open bar.
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