what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
