You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
