The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
