...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
ugly people sure do ruin things
He had one of those small greek statue penises
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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