Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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