I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
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