Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
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