CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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