Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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