I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
