I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
