Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
