Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So drunk its hurt
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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