have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
