ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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