My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
