I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
