at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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