We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
