I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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